I have been struggling from time to time about battling with a demon.
I have been experiencing involuntary speaking, movements and even unwilling sighing.
I dont usually complain about anything, but rather I try my best to keep a positive mindset and read or listen to spiritual teachings, particularly about Christian values.
I have been always going to church, because my family has always kept that as a virtue or an obligation but not forcefully but as a way to thank God for everything. What I can testify about going to church is not exactly that God will make you easily financially affluent or become able to find success by learning the path easily but it has always been that, even in any little amount I get, I always experience bounty that is more than what I deserve. Like, I don't have much savings or I have no job by now but the blessings and help from people around me makes me realize that God really provides. ❤
As well as when I am not a professional worker or achiever on the field that I chose, I still feel grateful that I still have the capacity to learn and I have a sound mind. Although as I mention, there is the demon that bothers me. Sometimes, makes me lose my focus to function properly with my activities. I can't lie that It really has a way to disturb me. Because it attacks me on my own mouth and even breathing or facial reactions. But as I write this blog. I am glad that I feel at peace. I was communicating to my Mom telling her that, "Mom, I don't think that I should mind too much about desiring to expel demons".
Because, other people who may not be too spiritual, they finish school and get a profession.
Then, I told her. "I don't choose to be a warrior. I just want to be as normal..."
Mom said, as I recall.. She said if I don't finish school it is my own problem. Expelling the demon is necessary. But let God do what He wills.
I am not, always as brave against the demon because I know that it is strong and evil and I felt its presence. Man... it really is bothering.
I don't enjoy the fact that it bothers me but I like the fact that I talk to God more.
Because I say earlier.
God, you know my struggle, sometimes it is really hard.
(I remember thanking God for the Life, even when I have this unique struggle.) I couldn't function normally as I suppose to. It is like making me handicapped.
It is like a big obstacle. Whenever it attacks me, how can I be beautiful? How can I function properly?
Please God. Let me know (almost mad but slowly breathed easily and relaxed)... what is it exactly that good that I need to do just to expel the demon?
I have dreams. I don't want anything to hinder them.
(Then, I gazed to the skies. Amazed with beauty.)
Then, I imagined, yes I dream to be a builder. Then I see rubbles as I imagine to picture I have seen from torned places that were destroyed by hate. I realized, there are many others who have faced harder battles. The ones in the ruins. The ones hungry for peace. The ones who are hopeful for a change, to be able to rise and rebuild their lives.
Then I cried.
I know the battle is even harder than I thought.
I am indeed blessed.
But I stress on how I can be able to help.
I want to make people experience heaven on earth. And I thought... I wish I can do something.
All I know is with my capacity.
Anything that is kind, in any way, is to Love.
And that Love is to create Peace.
I understood what Mother Theresa meant.
Merry Christmas.❤
I just realize.. that I forgot to mention that..
There is the light in situations that seem to be darkened by events that are not that (as alright to accept why it happens).
But the people who still can smile despite trauma or suffering..they embody strength that are
In the spirit of power, love and sound mind.. that is indeed the power of God.
I have been experiencing involuntary speaking, movements and even unwilling sighing.
I dont usually complain about anything, but rather I try my best to keep a positive mindset and read or listen to spiritual teachings, particularly about Christian values.
I have been always going to church, because my family has always kept that as a virtue or an obligation but not forcefully but as a way to thank God for everything. What I can testify about going to church is not exactly that God will make you easily financially affluent or become able to find success by learning the path easily but it has always been that, even in any little amount I get, I always experience bounty that is more than what I deserve. Like, I don't have much savings or I have no job by now but the blessings and help from people around me makes me realize that God really provides. ❤
As well as when I am not a professional worker or achiever on the field that I chose, I still feel grateful that I still have the capacity to learn and I have a sound mind. Although as I mention, there is the demon that bothers me. Sometimes, makes me lose my focus to function properly with my activities. I can't lie that It really has a way to disturb me. Because it attacks me on my own mouth and even breathing or facial reactions. But as I write this blog. I am glad that I feel at peace. I was communicating to my Mom telling her that, "Mom, I don't think that I should mind too much about desiring to expel demons".
Because, other people who may not be too spiritual, they finish school and get a profession.
Then, I told her. "I don't choose to be a warrior. I just want to be as normal..."
Mom said, as I recall.. She said if I don't finish school it is my own problem. Expelling the demon is necessary. But let God do what He wills.
I am not, always as brave against the demon because I know that it is strong and evil and I felt its presence. Man... it really is bothering.
I don't enjoy the fact that it bothers me but I like the fact that I talk to God more.
Because I say earlier.
God, you know my struggle, sometimes it is really hard.
(I remember thanking God for the Life, even when I have this unique struggle.) I couldn't function normally as I suppose to. It is like making me handicapped.
It is like a big obstacle. Whenever it attacks me, how can I be beautiful? How can I function properly?
Please God. Let me know (almost mad but slowly breathed easily and relaxed)... what is it exactly that good that I need to do just to expel the demon?
I have dreams. I don't want anything to hinder them.
(Then, I gazed to the skies. Amazed with beauty.)
Then, I imagined, yes I dream to be a builder. Then I see rubbles as I imagine to picture I have seen from torned places that were destroyed by hate. I realized, there are many others who have faced harder battles. The ones in the ruins. The ones hungry for peace. The ones who are hopeful for a change, to be able to rise and rebuild their lives.
Then I cried.
I know the battle is even harder than I thought.
I am indeed blessed.
But I stress on how I can be able to help.
I want to make people experience heaven on earth. And I thought... I wish I can do something.
All I know is with my capacity.
Anything that is kind, in any way, is to Love.
And that Love is to create Peace.
I understood what Mother Theresa meant.
Merry Christmas.❤
I just realize.. that I forgot to mention that..
There is the light in situations that seem to be darkened by events that are not that (as alright to accept why it happens).
But the people who still can smile despite trauma or suffering..they embody strength that are
In the spirit of power, love and sound mind.. that is indeed the power of God.
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